


Special Delivery!

by Depressedonetime



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Crack, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, M/M, mail, mailman Frank Iero, or post if you’re British
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:15:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29862126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Depressedonetime/pseuds/Depressedonetime
Summary: Frank is a mailman and Gerard catches his eye
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 10
Kudos: 15





	Special Delivery!

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t even remember how this came to be but somewhere along the lines of my friend talking about their experiences of watching Postman Pat as a child Frank as a mailman was born

It was a bright, sunny morning, and Frank was delivering mail, as usual. He delivered mail every day of the week except Sunday. He liked his job. He got to drive with the doors open, like on a jeep, and he got to drive through neighborhoods he definitely didn’t belong in. 

There was one neighborhood he especially liked. It was a small neighborhood, with about four houses. The very last house was Frank’s favorite. There was always a man standing on the front porch who came to get the mail from Frank when he delivered it. He knew his name was Gerard Way, since it was on the mail he delivered, and Gerard had asked for his name a few months ago and then left with a mischievous look. They had been flirting for a little over a year now, and Frank was getting bored. He wanted _more_ than just flirting. 

So he decided to take action. 

That morning, he brought Gerard his package which just so happened to be a porn magazine. Classy. 

“Anything for me today?” Gerard purred, leaning over the railing of his porch. 

“Mm, yeah, Busty Beauties.”

Gerard’s cheeks went red. 

“You want it?” Frank held it out to him, but snatched it back when he reached for it. “Come get it, princess.”

Gerard pulled his robe tight around himself and walked down the steps of his porch. He held his hand out for the magazine, avoiding Frank’s eyes. 

“Aw, don’t look away, sweetie. I think it’s hot that you wanna jerk off to photoshopped women.”

“I’m not- not jerking off.” Gerard looked down. 

“No? Well, I don’t assume you’re using this for light reading material.”

“I’m...fucking myself?”

Frank’s brain stuttered to a stop. 

“I don’t really wanna fuck any girls,” Gerard said softly. “Just wanna be fucked. By everyone. It doesn’t matter who.”

Error 404: Frank has stopped working. 

“That’s so fucking hot,” he said before his brain could start working again. “Hey, you know, I’m on lunch break…”

Gerard bit his lip. 

Frank’s brain finally caught up with him. Or maybe not, because the words he decided on were, “Wanna fuck in my truck? I have plenty of space.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Frank mentally face palmed. _Well, there goes my mail delivering job,_ he thought as he led Gerard to the truck. Maybe he could be a stripper. 

He let Gerard climb through the door and get into the back where all the letters were, then shut the door. 

Gerard had already stripped down and laid his robe to the side. He was currently lying in a pile of letters. 

So some people wouldn’t be getting their mail. 

“I don’t have anything in here, can I blow you?”

“Mm, sure.” Gerard spread his legs. 

Frank blew Gerard, and Gerard blew Frank, and then Frank got fired and started a career as a stripper. 


End file.
